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PhillyGayCalendar: Being Bisexual

Being Bisexual


Chris Balbi

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Bowtie Boy has been trekking around philly for 3 years. He enjoys theatre, beer gardens and intellectual conversations that lead no where. When he’s not free-lancing his social media management and digital marketing strategies, he’s at home in his underwear watching Dr. Who and eating Reese’s puffs.

posted by Chris Balbi on Apr 10, 2015 10:30am | comments

I guess I should start this column with a disclaimer: I am a full stop homosexual, a gold star gay if you will. My insights into the bisexual orientation come from a variety of interviews. That being said I don’t have the time, resources or stamina to interview every bisexual across America, so the 11 people I talked to will have to do.

The idea for this article started out like most do, a question was posed while drinking a beer with some friends.

“Remember when being bisexual was all the rage?”

The conversation proceeded for a few minutes with opponents on both sides, some saying that bisexuality wasn’t a trend and it’s just as relevant today as it was 10 years ago, others saying that before it was safe to be 100% gay, bisexuality served as a middle ground. Coming out as bisexual or even as bi-curious gave you a safety net. If shit hit the fan and people weren’t as accepting of your life choices as you had hoped, you could easily claim it was a phase and that you were still into the opposite sex.

I started large scale, and tried to gauge the public interest in bisexuality over the years. The quick and dirty way was to consult Google, but not in the way you might think. Google Trends is a program that analyzes the frequency of search terms over a designated span of time. Using Google Trends it became clear that the number of people searching for bisexuality (in correlation to sexual orientation, not porn) had a downward curve between 2006-2012. Recently though, the number of users googling bisexuality (again in regards to sexual orientation) was on the rise.

I knew the answer to the budding question about the prevalence of bisexuality in today’s culture wasn’t going to yield a definitive answer. So I took to the “streets” of the internet (Reddit) to ask a few questions to a few bisexual strangers. I started on a topical level and asked gay men three questions;

1. How do you feel about Bisexual guys?
2. What is your opinion on Bisexuality?
3. Has time changed your opinion?

While the answers varied slightly, the most common theme was that Bisexual guys are (and always have been) just as cool as gay men, time hasn’t changed much. BUT although the question was never asked, almost every guy said they would never date a bisexual guy. I poked and prodded them as to why, and the few that did respond said they’d be nervous that their bi-boyfriend would seek out a female companion. There are some very NSFW answers to that original question in the Reddit Thread here – http://bit.ly/BiBoyQA

So it seems I had answered, vaguely, the original question: bisexuality wasn’t as much of a “trend” as Google searches had suggested.

Quite a few men on the above thread are bisexual, so I saw an opportunity to explore the a different matter further and direct messaged them to ask them so deeper questions, I asked 11 men

1. Do people (strangers or friends) ever question your sexual preference, or accuse you of “covering” something up?
2. Do you lean one way or the other?
3. Do you feel coming out as Bisexual is similar or different than coming out as gay?
4. If you could screw a celebrity, who would it be?

With the last question being mostly for my entertainment.

The men of course had varying answers, but the attitude and mood had a common feel to them. It should be noted that all of the men had come out within the last 10 years. All of the men stated that coming out as bisexual led to NO confusion with their peers, but quite a bit with their immediate family. As for which way and how much the men lean? That varied, but 8/11 leaned towards dudes. All of the men said they thought coming out as bisexual is / would be harder than coming out as gay because there was more explaining that had to happen. “You have to abate everyone’s question of ‘are you sure you’re not just indecisive?’” – Reddit User.

A couple of the guys mentioned how difficult relationships can be, “nobody seems to trust me; they think that because I like both genders; I’ll cheat just to fulfill a temptation or need; It’s not the case, a faithful man is a faithful man” – Reddit User.

And of course the final question… 7 / 11 people interviewed said they’d screw Justin Timberlake, I’m not sure if that’s a bisexual thing, or just an anyone that walks the planet thing.

April 10, 2015 | 0 Comments More

Bisexual Dating Sites in 2015 – Top Ten Top Ten

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DISAGREE?

www.Bichats.com

BiChats.com is the Largest & 100% Trusted Online Community for Bisexual,Bi-curious singles and bi couples. We have been helping bisexual personals find dating and support since 2001!

Our site is designed for bisexual and bi-curious individuals to chat and hook up with. Here you can
find sexy and open-minded singles & couples looking to explore their sexuality. You can find
hundreds of thousands of matches and friends right here, especially those in your city. We also offer many features to facilitate people looking for anything from lovers to intimate relationships.

April 9, 2015 | 0 Comments More

Why Is Male Bisexuality Still The 'Big Hush-Hush' In A World Of …

April 2, 2015 | 0 Comments More

What Can Bisexual Dating Sites Provide For You …

In popular society, most people do not have a clear idea about bisexuality, and lots of them don’t think bisexuality is exactly exist, some of them are also confused with their sexual preferences. But, “Bisexuality is a exist sexual orientation that someone attracted to men as well as women.” by medical experts.

bisexual dating

bisexual dating

It’s extremely difficult if you follow the conventional approach to date. The online bisexual dating sites is a nice choice for bisexuals who cannot find an idea partner who can understand you, trust you and respect your sexual preferences in real life. Bisexual dating sites can provide safe and comfortable space for bisexuals to get together and avoid them from facing the situations that gay community don’t accept bi and heterosexuals don’t understand them.

When you search “bisexual dating” or “bi-curious dating sites”, it will come out lots of dating sites for bisexual women, bi-curious couples, bi men, etc. Bisexuals can search for their perfect matches and interact with other bisexual members without any inhibitions. But what can a good bisexual dating site provide for you?

Lots of open-minded people to connect with you

Good bisexual dating sites have features like search, email, messages, live chat, video chat, forums, etc. These features provide members opportunities to know other bisexuals .

Meet people with different interests

Some bisexuals would date with a guy at the same time, and there are some couples seeking a man or woman for threesome. What do you love to do? The bisexual dating sites would provide the selections for you.

Comfortable space

In fact, others would feel difficult to understand the needs and preferences of bisexuals. But a bisexual is in the same potion as you, so (s)he would be able to understand you better. Being interested in someone, just move fingers to connect (s)he.

No discrimination and be supported

This is the best character of bisexual dating sites what is different from general dating platforms. Others would not reject you on basis of your sexual orientation. We are the same, support each other while dating.

March 19, 2015 | 0 Comments More

Straight Men Whisper Their Secret Gay Desires / Queerty

TRUE CONFESSIONS

Straight Men Whisper Their Secret Gay Desires

Thanks to the advent of social media sites like Reddit and Whisper, we are now privy to people’s most intimate thoughts and desires.

More and more straight men have been using these anonymous online platforms to share their deepest, darkest secrets. We’ve seen them open up about accidental visits to gay bathhouses, their love of anal play, and doing gay things while stoned. And it never ceases to fascinate, amaze, and excite to us.

Scroll down to read straight men’s confessions about their secret gay desires…

I'm a straight man but i kinda want a man to force himself upon me
I'm a straight guy but I want to use a dildo on myself
I want my gf to watch me with another guy.
I'm straight, but sometimes I wonder what it would be like to blow and be blown by another guy.
I'm a straight guy, but I want to feel a muscely guy up
I love it in my butt, and I'm a straight male
I consider myself straight, but if I had to have sex with a guy, I'd do it with a guy 20 years older than me.
I've been having amazing straight sex lately but this guy has been trying to seduce me and it's kinda working. I'm a guy 20
I really want to give another guy head as a group of girls watch!!
I'm straight but show me a guy with a nice ass and I can't help but stare
I'm a straight guy and I just had my first kiss, it was with another dude.
I love to finger my self I'm a straight guy
I am a straight guy but lately I have been having fantasies about being convinced/coerced to suck a guy
I'm really curious as to what it would feel like to be fucked....I'm a straight guy tho
I pretend to be a girl on whisper and get guys off. I'm a straight guy tho....lol
By:

Graham Gremore

On:

Mar 1, 2015

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  • @demented: You made some interesting points, but I take issues with some of them.

    First of all, you suggest that people in the ancient world were mostly bisexual, but offer no proof other than the lives of several people in those time periods. I’m not doubting your statement that they may have been more open-minded when it comes sexuality, but find it hard to believe that the majority of the population could be deemed bisexual.

    Second of all, you compared straight and gay men having sex and relationship with people that were outside of their orientation as if the situation were the same. Gay men had to form relationships with women in order to survive and/or to avoid suspicion. Straight men on the other hand had no reason to other than maybe curiosity.
    As for the denying of their supposed attractions to same-or opposite attraction, perhaps they were being as clear as possible to clear all ambiguity regarding their sexuality, while you took it as more like “the lady doth protest too much, me thinks”.

    All in all, I see it more of a difference of perception. If a straight guy told me he wouldn’t mind having sex with a guy when he’s really horny, I really won’t think of him as any less straight, he just wants to get off. But I know others who would love to peg him as bi.

    I hope this was coherent. I’m not really proficient at writing things down, especially with English not being my native language.

  • Not sure I believe these whispers all came from straight guys, but I do know, from personal experience, that men are just as sexually fluid as women. Even given that a certain percentage of straight guys who have hit on me — and that I have hit on — are simply not yet aware of their homosexuality, there are a great many straight men who enjoy sex with another man. Why this is so under the radar, and seemingly never shows up in sex surveys, I am not sure, but from my anecdotal POV, many straight men enjoy sex with other men,

March 1, 2015 | 0 Comments More